Serenity Cafe Academy

Meet Your Inner Family of Self

This introduction to ego-states session is for those who want to spend some time building a meditation, visualization, for getting to know their inner family of self. It is great to use after a therapy or coaching session. It is ideal if you take a moment and let your creativity use that minds-eye to generate images of what your life would look like, sound like, and feel like when you have achieved healing from abandonment.




Ego-State Projection

Work through this exercise several times. We will do it formally in session in more depth as I will lead you through the process with various questions unique to your history. If this is your first time, just focus on visualizing the ego-states. Remember to ask with curiosity and listen with intuition. Then let things happen naturally and be curious as you wait for an intuitive to response.

After the first time or two, take notes in your journal about what you noticed. We will use this information going forward. You can use the Integrative Journaling Process and the Eight Step Feeling Process with each ego-state to strengthen your connection and rapport.




Find Your Ideal Future Self

Just as the past can jump up to haunt us, the future can come back to help us! We will use the timeline to find your Ideal self from 18 months or more after you've begun this work. That part can be a mentor and a coach for you in the present moment (Creator Mentality). The Ideal Self will be part of an inner structure for healing in the Self-Soothing Center of the right brain (See the Brain Therapy Card below).

Intensity and repetition are the two mechanisms for strengthening parts-of-self to make them more robust, including the present-day assets we have such as our ability to be nurturing and protective of others - we need to use visualization and affirmation with vivid intensity & repetition to tap into these adult resources so we can use them to heal our inner family of self.




Create Your Sanctuary

Intensity and repetition are the two mechanisms for strengthening parts-of-self to make them more robust, including the present-day assets we have such as our ability to create an internal "safe container" for healing - we need to use visualization and affirmation with vivid intensity & repetition to tap into these adult resources so we can use them to heal our inner family of self.

Therapists like to have clients create a place of safety inside themselves. The Safe Place is a refuge that becomes stronger over time. It must become a part of the self-soothing center of the right brain in order to bring those resources to the healing process. For now, create a safe place like someplace in nature, someplace you've been before, a place you have always dreamed of going, or anything you want... Spare no expense!




Reimprinting Process

There are several processes embedded in the actual healing of the wounded Part at the root of what blocks you from achieving the goal you've selected in the well-formed outcomes process. The reimprinting process opens the door to healing by going to the imprint experience or experiences watching the imprint happen. Then using Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) techniques such as Visualization and Perceptual position to re-experience the Imprint in the way it “woulda-shoulda-coulda” been in the ideal scenario.

This doesn't take away what happened in the original experience, it simply adds another experience alongside of the original. Now the brain has a choice on which experience to go to when triggered. It may start out in the old direction by habit, but with a little guidance, in the beginning, it can go in the new direction very quickly.

Sometimes reimprinting is all that's needed for healing to take place. But why stop there? There are several other processes that work very well, such as the Retrieval and Release process in the TIFS/TACS program. We use them to create a synergistic effect and faster healing.




Releasing Toxic Emotions

This task is the very core of the healing exercises. These can be very powerful and build on the work that you've already completed. Step one: Use the retrieval and emotional release videos In the Skills Section below and negotiate with the managers to stand aside in between sessions. Work with them to identify what you, as the adult ego state, need to do in order for them to let go of their old behaviors while you continue this work with future goals.




Strengthen the Adult Ego-State

Many people are so wounded, they live in survival mode more often than not. This is especially difficult for them because they can be constantly on-guard, hyper-vigilant, and hyper-aroused. They are either stuck in their vulnerable child ego-state or their angry/defiant child-created ego-state. Some go the other direction and collapse into a hypo-aroused state. They become lethargic, unmotivated, depressed, and want to just hide out from people. The space between HYPER-aroused and HYPO-aroused is called our "Window of Tolerance" and sometimes it is no very wide!

The above video is the place to start if any of this describes you. It is designed to help you get unstuck, open your window of tolerance, and prepare you to work with the inner family of self. The Adult Ego-State MUST take the lead and be “out front” driving the bus of your life for any healing to take place. If you feel able to stay firmly in your compassionate Adult Self Energy, use the Eight-Step Feelings Process you learned in the previous lesson to begin to sooth the triggered parts. 




2
Lesson

Ego-States - The Inner Family of Self

Ego-State therapy paved the way for many other "Parts-Oriented" therapies including Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy and Parts Integration Therapies. Gestalt therapy also plays a major role in the evolution of this therapeutic orientation. Gestalt therapy also plays a major role in the evolution of this therapeutic orientation.