Serenity Cafe AcademyBasic Understanding of Ego-States
Ego States and neural networks are synonymous terms used to describe how systems of beliefs, feelings, instructions, coping skills, and behaviors become automatic “programs” that are stored in the implicit memory of the subconscious mind — activated by the brain on cue.
Eric Berne, founder of TA, defines an Ego State as “a consistent pattern of feeling and experience directly related to a corresponding consistent pattern of behavior”… This includes everything a person experienced in childhood and incorporated from parent figures, perceptions of events and feelings associated with these events, and the distortions brought to those memories.
The three primary Ego-States of TA are the Parent Ego-State, The Adult Ego-State, and the Child Ego-State. The First Order Map is the Model used in the Functional Ego-State Map (Functional and Dysfunctional Parts of Self) Learn more about second and third-order ego-state maps. Ego-State therapy paved the way for many other "Parts-Oriented" therapies including Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy and Parts Integration Therapies. Gestalt therapy also plays a major role in the evolution of this therapeutic orientation.
In TA theory, only one ego-state (ES) can be actively in control of the body at a given time… When a person is “in their Child” then that ES is considered “activated”. In Ego-State therapy, the term for activated is “in the Executive”. For example, if you have ever gotten angry, blew up, and later felt that your behavior or reaction was “childish” then you have a good idea of what is meant by only one Ego-State can have executive control at a time.
The Adult and the Parent ego-states can be “present” in an observing role during the blow-up, but only the activated Ego-State can have executive control of the body. When you calmed down and told yourself “that was a childish thing to do”, it was coming from your Parent Ego-State. In TA the term “childish” is never used… the term “child-like” is used instead.
“Child-like” is a respectful way to acknowledge and “own” the Child ES… “Childish” is a put-down and would come from a “Critical Parent” ES which we will explore later.
When we are in a certain neural network it makes sense that we can only operate from within the boundaries of that network. When another network is “activated” or “takes the executive” it means our awareness has shifted or relocated to that network. If you pay attention you will notice that we shift ego states many times a day… each Ego-State has its own focus, mood, and physiology.
Therapists & Coaches:
Go to the Oasis @ Serenity Cafe
Open or Download the Sample Ego-State Maps Therapy Card Below
Functional Ego-State Map
Eric Berne, founder of TA, defines an Ego State as “a consistent pattern of feeling and experience directly related to a corresponding consistent pattern of behavior”… This includes everything a person experienced in childhood and incorporated from parent figures, perceptions of events and feelings associated with these events, and the distortions brought to those memories.
For Those Who Want a Deeper Understanding of Ego-States, click the links to go to various articles on my blog, Internet of the Mind:
Adult Ego State – In a healthy adult, the Adult is the primary ego state for making decisions, solving problems, getting the job done and other executive functioning. In healthy adult relationships, it’s also the primary ego state for interpersonal functioning. Occasionally, in intimate relationships, it’s healthy and important to use the psychological defense mechanism of regressing into the Natural Child ego state so they can play together. At other times it’s healthy to move into Parent ego state to provide nurturing and support to a friend or partner who is in a Child — for example, during times of grief and loss.
Adapted Child Ego State – The “Parent-in-the-Child” is the neural network that “adapted” to the dysfunction of the family… A child is born into the world with all the Natural Child qualities and psychological defense mechanisms. The child in a less-than-nurturing family must use psychological defense mechanisms to adapt because it’s not okay to ask directly for what you need, express certain feelings, or break certain unspoken rules.
The Adapted Child learns, by way of the Little Professor, how to “configure” or arrange the following ego states and psychological defense mechanisms to get its needs met. Being necessary for survival, these defensive maneuvers were appropriately termed survival skills. While useful and necessary during childhood, survival skills do not make good substitutions for the coping skills of a healthy adult human being.
- Critical Parent Ego State – The Critical Parent ES is that network that has recorded on it all of the childhood messages of parents and other authority figures — in other words, an Introject Many of the messages were assimilated (accepted as part of self)… “look both ways before you cross the street”. Others were “taken in” but not assimilated (introjects)because they created limitations and barriers to intimacy…“don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel”.These are also known as Injunctions in TA language. Most of us alternate between being an Internalizer and an Externalizer but we tend to fall closer to one end of the continuum than the other. Internalizers tend to turn their critical parent messages inward to create (Introjection) and perpetuate what we know as low self-esteem and negative self-talk. Externalizers turn their CP messages outward (Projection) to create and perpetuate what we know as grandiosity or narcissism. These characteristics of self-centeredness (aka “Big Ego”) are created by the psychological defense mechanism of reaction formation.
- Angry/Defiant Child Ego State – The Angry/Defiant Child is the network that developed somewhere in the modeling period between 9 and 13 years old…usually closer to 12 or 13. It’s the part of us that learns to resist and endure abusive, hurtful behavior from others. If we grew up in a family where expressions of anger or defiance were strictly prohibited, it was important to repress our Angry/Defiant Child ego state. Another term for this psychological defense mechanism of disowning a part of yourself. Repressing our Angry Child frequently results in the polarizing effect of strengthening our Vulnerable Child — another reaction formation. With a Pronounced Vulnerable Child and a Repressed Angry/Defiant Child, it becomes difficult, if not almost impossible, to set healthy boundaries and protect ourselves — our anger helps us set our boundaries so we can maintain our separateness or autonomy.
- Vulnerable Child Ego State – The Vulnerable Child is the network that developed during the imprint period — 1 to 7 years old…usually between 3 and 6 years old. If we grew up in a family where tears, crying, and other expressions of vulnerability were prohibited then we had to learn to repress or disown, our Vulnerable Child ego state. Repressing our Vulnerable Child frequently results in the polarizing effect of strengthening our Angry/Defiant Child — again, a reaction formation. With a Pronounced Angry/Defiant Child and a Repressed Vulnerable Child, it becomes difficult to feel compassion and empathy for others — Our ability to be vulnerable allows us to let the walls down so we can connect emotionally to others in a healthy way.
Little Professor Ego State – The “Adult-in-the-Child”, aka the Little Professor, is that smart, intuitive, creative and manipulative part of us that helps the Adapted Child learn how to get what it needs. When we grow up in a less-than-nurturing family the Little Professor is the neural network that works behind the scenes to gather and store data about what works and what doesn’t work.
If you’ve ever seen Candid Camera or any other show where they interview little kids about life…then you have seen the Little Professor in action. The kids can be hilarious because there is usually quite a bit of accuracy to their intuitive but far out answers. The Little Professor is the network that later branches out and expands into the Adult… They are both “computers”, but the Adult has data in the form of experience and wisdom on the hard-drive — All the Little Professor has to go on is instinct and intuition.
The Adult and Little Professor make a good team when creativity is needed – such as designing a new amusement park or roller coaster ride. It’s the Little Professor, with feedback from the environment, that configures the above childhood ego states…survival is its prime directive so whatever it takes to survive will become habits that follow us into adulthood.
When a trigger comes along, the appropriate ego state is activated. The program for that situation runs automatically and right on cue…with all the feelings, beliefs, attitudes, defenses and experiences of that part of self.
Therapists & Coaches:
Go to the Oasis @ Serenity Cafe
Open or Download the Sample Functional Ego-State Map Therapy Card Below